Scwewy Squirrel

This year looks like a good year for our pear tree. We planted the tree in the spring before Michaela was born so it is 23. We have had other good years but have not had the chance to enjoy them because of squirrels. Their modus operandi is to climb the tree months before the pears are ripe. They take a bite out of the pear and realize that it is not ready and drop it to the ground. By the time the pears are ready, what started as over a hundred have been reduced to single digits. Add in the fact that when they are close to ripe the birds peck holes in them which causes the remaining ones to rot prematurely. Several years ago we used a humane trap to catch the squirrels alive and caught twelve in one summer and enjoyed our pears. The squirrels were given a one-way ride to Lakewood Park located on the outskirts of town. That was then, this is now. Again we borrowed a humane trap (compliments David Newcomer). So far we have trapped a few sparrows, cardinals grackles, five squirrels and two opossums and several sprung traps with no bait. About the opossums. One morning I found the trap overturned and the bait gone. It was a small Godzilla had picked up the trap, shook the bait out and then tossed the trap aside leaving the yard with a little snack. At that point it was determined that was to take in the trap at night. Opossums are nocturnal and were trapped when I neglected my responsibilities.

When it scurried away it went into a brush pile in our yard that had a convenient opening in the bottom of it the same size as the opossum. Velda suggested burning the pile but we thought that would simply attract a crowd of former Arkansans wanting to know who was barbecuing. I can say say this because my fathers heritage is from Arkansas, I lived there for 6 1/2 years, and I have eaten "possum" at my Poppoe's (PAH-poe, nickname for my maternal grandfather) farm in southern Arkansas when I was young. Now onto the empty traps. While sitting on my back porch I saw both a grackle and a squirrel go the following scenario. The perpetrator would enter the trap. Then it would extend its neck and grab the bait from off the platform with out touching the platform which is needed to spring the trap. Next the miscreant would would BACK OUT OF THE TRAP! If it would have gone forward it would have been toast. On one occasion as I saw a squirrel in the trap going through the aforementioned procedure, so I snuck (sneaked? spellcheck doesn't like snuck, twice) up behind it and ran clapping my hands thinking it would run forward to escape me. It backed out of the trap free as a bird (dare I say grackle) and scurried away a few peanuts heavier. Am I starting to look like Elmer Fudd to anyone? In my defense I would like to say that I don't have a lisp and Bugs was not a ninja which is what I am dealing with. I was patient and continued to feed these vermin via the trap. We caught grackles because they got cocky (another bird joke?) and careless. We didn't give them the ride because when let go them see to continue flying until out of sight. Our yard has been fairly grackel-less (spellcheck) lately. The squirrels are a different matter. We would see 3 playing in the yard fairly regularly and caught them in short order. Next we saw two more regularly. We think that one of these to was the ninja. When we finally caught the fifth squirrel I saw one sitting on our swing set (#6) chatting away. We surmise that the one on the swing set is the ninja master and there must me a training or initiation going on. The master recruits novices and trains them by showing them the technique. There is practice from a distance and finally that test. The master watches the novice from the swing set and coaches them. Inevitable one will slip and the master gives final comments and returns to the ninja lodging and starts over. Now we have notice 2 squirrels again regularly in the yard. Curse you ninja master, I will get you some day! Oops I swtiched cartoons/comics. I like being referenced as Snoopy much better. He is way cooler and it was a childhood nickname of mine.
P.S. Spellcheck also doesn't like spellcheck.
P.P.S There could be a few more blogs this summer. I have more time on my hands than usual.