Monday, October 26, 2009

My Own Account

Just in case you guys have read Joshua's post I believe mine will give a different view point. Upon entering the garage this morning to feed the cats I immediately smelled a disgusting smell which seemed to come from the back of the garage. Because our kittens in the garage I thought perhaps our mother cat had pooped back there. All I found were our mewing kittens. So I decided to feed the birds. When I reached my hand into the bag I noticed that it was wet and then I saw a hairy opossum's face right on top of our seeds. I was so startled that a yell erupted from me and I fled into the house. The smell was so awful that I immediately assumed it was dead and heralded the news to my whole family. Joshua was unanimously voted to take care of the carcass. Out of curiosity I followed him outside but would not get even close to the garage doorway. Joshua poked it with the pitchfork several times to no avail further confirming to us that it was dead. He tried to get me to help him carry out the container but I kept a wary distance. Once outside he said there were two in there. Of course I had to go see them. After all dead possums don't jump on people do they? He decided to dump them down the cistern in our backyard and once again he was on his own. Then he said, "Hey Michaela I think it's breathing." And sure enough it was. Well he then tipped over the container and started poking both of them with his pitchfork. All they did was bare their teeth and try to go out the back door(which didn't exist). I got a shovel from the garage and started banging on the sides and top of the container which was a very satisfying action after my fright. Finally they both ran out and Joshua hit them so hard with the pitchfork they flipped over which was also very satisfactory to see. They weren't even full grown but even as young it is my opinion that possums are the most ugliest, smelliest, most disgusting creatures in North America. After that Joshua made me wash out the container. To conclude I have been washing my hands regularly throughout the day. Ah, it felt good to get that out.

A Little Surprise

This morning began as all mornings, nothing particularly special. Until Michaela entered the house after feeding the cats with a shriek. Now Michaela does not usually enter the house with a shriek (and our cat already had its kittens) so Grace and I immediately drew our attention to Michaela. Michaela instantly declared "There's a dead opossum in our bird food container!!!!" There was a brief moment of silence, and then my mother noted the obvious "Well get it out of there." Of course, I, the "man of the house" was instantly selected for this glorious and envious task. My first decision was to make sure that this opossum was dead. I armed myself with a pitchfork. I carefully prodded the opossum with the pitchfork, the opossum didn't even flinch. Obviously it was dead (right?). Of course, I wasn't about to stick my hand in there gloves or no gloves. So I brought the container out into the light. Our little surprise suddenly turned into two. Now I had two dead opossums on my hand, and two sisters giving pointless commentary on the whole proceedings. Still not wanting to touch them, I decided on the course of dumping the whole container into our cistern. Fortunately, (for the opossums) I noticed one was breathing. Although I am a homeschooler, I'm positive I learned somewhere that dead things don't have a tendency to breathe. I prodded the opossum once again to make sure, to my great consternation the only movement it did was breathe. (And people think I'm a heavy sleeper). I turned the can sideways, still no movement. After about ten jabs with the pitchfork, one opened its eyes, and the other moved its leg. After another ten jabs, they were both making definite action to get out of the can . . . the wrong way, through the bottom of the container. (Just to make sure you know there is no opening in the bottom of a container). Finally I managed to get them out, and sent them scurrying out of the yard each with an extra jab. Then turning to his sister Sir Joshua, Opossums-bane, quoth "Now I leave thee to clean out the can." Thus ends the narrative.